Maybe your partner has no friends or did not find someone special in their life for affection. But hes going about it in totally the wrong way. Also, dont talk to his girlfriend. Why has he blocked me again? That makes it obvious to all involved that things have indeed changed. He was making me miserable, and so I didnt have to talk to him! You should do it for yourself and out of respect for your exs new relationship. But then he quickly follows up with but I have a girlfriend.. You dont even need to give him an explanation as to why. You must do it because if you dont, your ex will give you bucketloads of false hope and make you think that he still loves you and is considering getting back with you. Here they are: She's unhappy with her boyfriend; She wants to be friends; She misses you; But wait, there's more Telling you repeatedly that he has a girlfriend sounds like its to alleviate any guilt he feels in contacting you. He had to be dragged away from you by his girlfriend. I want to be friends with this man as he has been a huge part of my life, but I want to respect their relationship. We Broke Up But Still Talk Every Day - Magnet of Success 21 Signs That Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back But wait. On the contrary, he thinks hes being polite and friendly for checking up on you. The thing is, that it is partially the LWs fault, she knows that he is in this relationship, and shes knows that if this happened to her she probably would be upset about it too, but yet she continues to answer this guys calls even though he keeps saying that he is dreaming about her, and all of that bull shit. Most girls, of course, arent okay with a guy who does this. Shikha Desai / May 3, 2021, 16:24 IST AA He broke up with you and is now trying to initiate conversations. Should I just stop answering the phone altogether? You guys shouldnt talk right now, at least for a while, because its clearly too complicated. The reason your ex does this is that he wants you in his life to a certain extent. I wish I could say I was the moral one that I bravely took the painfully high road. @katie, hahaha just so we would fight and get back together. If he keeps calling you after that, ignore him. He sounds like a jerk. i have done nothing to you.. but thats just the person i am. If he doesn't want to . Ready? and i really have no idea what shoul i do now? Thing # 1. No matter how you phrase anything trying to smooth things over with her, she is not going to leave the conversation thinking more highly of you than before you opened your mouth. Hes currently living with the girl he left me for. I think anyone (well, maybe not ANYONE) who has a big breakup like this probably likes the idea that their ex isnt over them, despite being with someone new. None of that really matters though. Are you comfortable being the type of girl that gets phone calls from men in committed relationships telling you that they dream about you? You can also use the online chat. 1. Oh and the guy has to stop dropping But I have a girlllllllfriend! into conversation. that is a great point, you guys. He doesnt understand why he needs to stop reaching out to exes. she deserves to have a guys full attention. If you cant manage that, then make it easier for yourself and keep a distance to your ex. And, if my experience say anything, probably whats wrong with this friendship is probably pretty reflective of what was wrong with the relationship. But either way, that seems like a really tough situation to be in . 2. Pulling away from him will probably be one of the hardest things youll ever have to do, but its something you must do out of respect for yourself. yea, its like when i was in high school and me and my boyfriend would break up every other week, and he would accidently text me or something just so we would fight and get back together. I have ignored all efforts of communication the last two months but he continues and continues. Its so uncomfortable. It seems like friendship is not his goal. So I couldnt make a scene but I still had to stop it. It really, really helped. Yeah, thats definitely true. After a four-month long-distance relationship, Jen Glantz 's boyfriend broke things off with her in what she calls a "semi-passive way." "We are both entrepreneurs. I really wonder whyyyyy? That time is not now! Totally agree with Wendy. Their relationship might work out but you are definitely straining it He is absolutely to blame for a lot of that though. LW it sounds like you still have feelings and that is why you are carefully analyzing everything he says to you. However, if you do like the attention, for whatever reason, then talk to him, but try to keep things short. Plus, its likely she knows more than she wants to already. Now I get it. But what could it mean? I wish he would. Which is supposedly something you dont want, since youve ended that relationship. I get the sense the LW is completely over it so she doesnt see how completely shitty it is, but imagine if she wasnt this is mindgame central. All I can tell you is dont let someones mental illness make you ill as well. People love to pretend theyre okay, theyre ready for a relationship, its okay to be friends, but really all of those things typically happen with much more time. Your ex could have no one else to talk to and might be texting to you to fill his or her emotional void. It's a form of post-breakup control over your ex-partner. Well, a few nights ago I ran into him at a bar and we were just talking for few minutes, and his girlfriend glared at me the entire time. Im still mad at the husband for that BS and avoid being around just him on pain of death. I have a daughter. Maybe send the girlfriend one email explaining that youre sorry you made her uncomfortable but DONT tattle on your ex. Only if you want, only if it will make you feel better, but then let them live their lives. Your ex maintains contact with you when they don't have to. and was running into each other really just a coincidence? Especially since the guy was, well SO DAMN SMOKING HOT!! Why does my ex keep texting if they broke up - With My Ex Again Starting at 8 a.m. He sounds like he sucks. Like someone wrote above, who calls someone to tell them they dreamed about them and then couldnt get back to sleep with their current SO!?! Even if the new GF accepted the little chat and there was no animosity between the two of them (although I doubt that would be the case) it sort of negates what really needs to happen for this breakup to hold, ie for two separate people to begin living separate lives. He said yes. I feel so confused and filled with resentment because I have blocked him and asked politely to please give me space. is he jealous? "Why Does My Ex Keep Contacting Me?" (What It Means) i do feel bad for this new GF. Dropped him. He wants to keep that convo open in case this one fails then you will be his booty call. Youre not more mature, youre not any more over him, and youre definitely not any happier. They dont get along, so naturally, they dont sleep together very often. And just to tell you that you respect her relationship? Last updated on June 5, 2022 by Michelle Devani Has your ex been calling you after a long period of no contact ? He leaves messages stating I know you dont want to talk to me or even like me but I have to check on you from time to time. Even if you still love each other in some way you can still be friends, as long as youve made peace with your new relationship status, i.e. Don't meet up in person. Are you okay having someone keeping steady contact with you for no valid reason even though it is inappropriate and disrespectful on a whole set of levels? No amount of curiosity was worth that level of awkwardness. And slackness deserves a lash verbal or otherwise. I dont understand the behavior because he says he is happy with his girlfriend. So Ill take what I can get until I can find something better and once this pandemic is over hopefully I will. His girlfriend knows this, too. The two of us met by accident, by then he had already labeled me Crazy. Why does he keep calling you? One of the more obvious signs your ex still loves you is that they stay in touch with you. When you break up, its not the best idea to fall right back into another relationship. Oh, but Im a layyyyydeee!, Yeah that but I have a girlfriend line is such crap, the LW knows that he has a GF, he is just looking for a reaction everytime he says it. YES. Hell understand where youre coming from and stop reaching out. Its hard being the first girlfriend after a long relationship, but thats why most people go into them with their eyes wide open. If anything youre protecting yourself, and allowing yourself to move on and have a life outside him. I dont understand why! The LW can only control her own actions, and ignore the ex-BF calling and being annoying. It was just ridiculous. If it were, he would be treating you with a lot more respect than he is. Call them out on it. But that girlfriend is not something that is happening TO him, its a situation he is choosing. They would get a hold of me once in a while. I know hes not happy with her but he wont do anything about it! Im not friends with my one important ex. Shes a rebound for him, while hes keeping you on the back burner, and youre trying to let a friendship happen too soon. Does staying in contact with him make you happier overall, or unhappier? Their relationship is so none of your business. 10 Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back - YourTango I fear you may start to feel a bit lonely or nostalgic, which may make it more difficult to ignore his attempts at communication. Remember that story? Somehow i really want to know their status now to make decision about this matter cuz honestly i still love him and with these things happen make my progress to move on decreased again, start to overthinking again, and so on. Both of you are trying too hard to be just friends. The LW didnt do anything to apologise for at all and the last thing she needs is to be embroiled in relationship drama when she isnt even a party in the relationship. Especially since the world really is small and Id rather not be antagonistic, never know when itll come back to me. He could also be bored, guilty, afraid, anxious, in pain, curious, or maybe even nostalgic about you. He like the security of the new girlfriend, because lets be honest, relationships, good or bad do bring a sense of security. For. Dont let your ex drag you down. He tells me he will stop but a week later will reach out again. This means that your exs reasons for continuously reaching out are most likely boredom and curiosity. Are you comfortable being the type of girl that gets phone calls from men in committed relationships telling you that they dream about you? Any advice? *if you gave him any inkling of wanting HIM back* Arrrgh. While we dated I found out he was still in touch with an ex of 5 years which i somewhat understood but with us I cant really make sense of it. After 8 months, something happens in your brain and heart and you are forced to move on. They Actually Mean It But Only In The Moment. I think they are still together. i agree with you i dunno. Ive been in a similar situation, where my ex would randomly call me to chat, even a year after we broke up and had moved away. My ex and I left off as friends and honestly down the line (like after I get this amazingly hot bf) I have no issues getting coffee to catch up. He has a girlfriend for that. Hes not ready to be friends yet Its that simple. Afterwards, she dragged him out into the parking lot and demanded it was time to leave. all of it. True. To my surprise, he replied me asking who was i writing to. I acknowledged his comment. I mean, yeah, it all seemed VERY wishful thinking on my part. Youve been doing your own thingsand that made him think about you. He was in another life now, and yet he was calling me to tell me he was sorry. Tell him that he can keep your number and try you again in a few months after youve had time to properly process your breakup, but in the meantime you dont want to hear from him. But thats exactly why you shouldnt talk. Your desire to tell this new girl the truth about how much he calls you isnt all about respecting their relationship Its about destroying it! I dont think he feels jealous (much). I totally agree. feel overwhelmed, smothered, and pressured. I didnt give my ex one when I quit talking to him. He wants the LW to be like well I dont care if you have a GF, I will still blow you or Dump that skank, and come back to me. You can tell him that you need more time to process the breakup and that youll reach out to him when youre ready to talk. I think you know that. Sometimes, I admit I get false hope he truly misses me. Like I avoid the married guy my friend had an affair with, even though I often times feel like Im not invited out to things because the group-including her!-havent cut him outI wonder if shell continue to hang with him when she gets-if she gets-a BF and if hell sabotage it somehow. So true about the desire to be friends. No? For 6 months I made no effort to contact him, I really needed to move on, but he had other ideas, he contacted me ironically on April 1st this easter holiday exactly 6 months after the baby was born. Updated on July 9th, 2022 YouTube 93K Do you have a situation in which your ex is calling you all of a sudden out of the blue? Yea, absolutely. LW Yes you do, and when I was your girlfriend I thought you were capable of respect of emotional honesty so WTF are you doing? There are only 3 reasons why your ex-girlfriend still wants to talk to you when she has a boyfriend. I cant be friends with a lier. Its my right as a person, and no one can take it from me. Im pretty sure I was over being attracted to him, but I wasnt over the damage he inflicted (emotionally abusive), because if I had been over it, Id have never wanted to be near him. 7 Reasons Why My Ex Won't Stop Calling Me Out of The Blue I appear to be a pushover, but Im far from it. Why a Guy Is Talking to You If He Has a Girlfriend - Sweety High I wonder if she knows all of this, and is actually still talking to him so he doesnt actually move on? Ignore Her and Continue With Your No Contact. I think having a nice civil talk about his actions, then not talking again for a long time would be the best. They now have a 6 month old baby. AND someone used my catchphrase. So if you want to know why your ex keeps contacting you when he has someone new, its because he doesnt think hes causing any harm to his relationship. I still think about you." These words. Then end it. He started texting/calling me on a fairly regular basis about a year after we broke up (he had texted/called a few times before that randomly), even though he had moved in with his new girlfriend (and I have a new boyfriend as well)! I have been in a situation like that. I was thinking fade out too. But I guess its not like he contacts her or anything, so its not too weird. Leave the new GF out of it, as their relationship is not your business. Which means, stay away from his new relationship. They want to know that, while he may have moved on to someone new, you havent. Then he moved contacts me 3 years later I replied no response and now 6 years later telling me I am kind and honorable. All rights reserved. It doesn ' t necessarily mean there ' s anything to it. He might also want to rub how much hes allegedly moved on in your face. No matter the true reason (and its probably a combination of a bunch of things), hes not over you. I know for me if Im in an awkward situation, even if I didnt do anything to cause it, I tend to go over and over it in my head and do kind of need to apologize even if its not my fault. 4. Ill take the constructions workers over an ex or friend saying inappropriate things any day! i dont know if i would go out of my way to do it, but if i saw them again, i would try to pull her aside and tell her that you are not trying to have as much contact.. that he is the one who is responsible, and that you are in no way interested in him like that anymore- you totally respect her new relationship with him and wouldnt jepordize that. If it does, you need to know that your ex perceives his ex-girlfriends differently than you perceive your ex-boyfriends. Yes! All of the three characters in this situation have issues: The LW for trying to be (or maybe even thinking she be) the cool girl thats okay with her ex banging another girl after 2 months and rubbing it in her face.. Usually it comes down to me thinking they are a dick or, if the breakup was my doing, I obviously didnt enjoy their company anymore anyway. I can see why you would feel that way, it isnt nice to not be liked, but I read the letter as being about the LW relationship with ex-BF, not the ex-BF current relationship. My ex drunk dialed me one night. He has been dating someone for 8 months. Yeah. Maybe thats crossing a line, but we dated for almost 4 years and he never bothered to memorize my number, so thats not my problem. He isnt over you and is back burnering you. The funny thing is, once both of you are completely over this relationshipneither of you are likely going to feel very strongly about being friends. Most of the time, they contact their ex only once or twice. Yeah especially when he spends most of the time talking to his Ex instead of his current GF. (Which violates bittergaymarks very first rule about healthily being friends with exes.) After all, they were a major part of your life, so it's understandable to still want to talk to. Most of them are very rational and stop talking to their exes only when they: They dont usually stop talking to their exes if the breakup was mutual/respectful or if they moved on from them and met someone new. and i get to go home after lunch today. Men, like women, can get sentimental. We then bumped into eachother for the first time the other week. Reactions. Dont contact his girlfriend and tell her hes been up to no good either. Dont only good things come from talking to your exs new girl/guy?!? Remind yourself as often as possible that you broke up for a reason. Dont you think its time to reach out to his girlfriend? He knows that you have a man you kick it with but most of the time the man is out of town..Whipped dude knows this. Thats the best way for you to move on from this and meet someone worthy of your attention. Gross. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. Hes always had typical GIGS with everything in life. Be civil, be friendly, but if you catch yourself worrying about his new relationship stop. Yeah, Ive faded that guy out. My guess is, liked RR said, you may not actually want to be friends with him once you get over the idea that you should be friends with him. Why Does My Ex Keep Contacting Me When He Dumped Me? They don't understand that the only person who wants friendship is the dumper. Im not sure why you have to say anything to her, you two arent ready to be friends, and you are probably too close to each other to be friends, especially if either of you has a significant other, so I would just tell him that you need your space from your friendship, and if he wants it to work with his girlfriend he needs to stop contacting you as well. My point in sharing all of this is, youre not proving anything by staying friends with this guy. i get a WKS. ohhh my first WKS!!! In times like that you say hi, and move on to a seperate part of the bar. She ignored the red flag and continued the relationship with him after wrecking my home. Let's take a moment and explore. . *If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at we***@de*******.com and be sure to follow me on Twitter and like me on Facebook. and also, what do you wanna bet that he is feeding his new girlfriend the whole crazy ex routine to explain why they talk all the time? Here are some reasons your ex might be texting you Are you finding it difficult to get over your break-up? Break-ups are usually painful because they represent a major relationship readjustment. Quit engaging. And also idk about his status with his supposed to be gf. I am so, so sorry. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. Your humor could be a nice reprieve from the stresses of his actual relationship, or a fun step outside of his normal social circle. If he leaves a message thats about something legit, that you can help him with (something like, what was the name of the restaurant where we took my mom for her 60th Bday? So with your help San I said him to stop reaching out and now I see that was so important and an absolute must. After all, you two were in a relationship for 3 years and then he immediately rebounded with a new girl. Since then, any time I break up with someone I make a clean break. To me it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. It would be rude and presumptuous of you. You may think youre over it and ready for a friendship (based on the things you said, I dont think you are), but your ex is clearly not. Why would you want to do that? Heres how I see the next conversation in my head: DB ex-boyfriend I think about you, dream about you, blah blah blah BUT I have a girlfriend means he has romantic feelings for me? As I mentioned earlier, the emotions shared and the . Recently, he started calling me. My ex left me for someone else around this time last year. I want to take her there again.), then yeah, call him back and tell him, but keep it short and sweet. Just inform the guy that youll be distancing yourself from him and that youll appreciate it if he respects your request. i think you should tell him what wendy said- and maybe add something like, i dont want to come in between the two of you because i do respect you, and once you respect her and me enough, maybe we can try to be friends again. She knows that he used to be close to you and is afraid that he may consider getting back with you if he gets too comfortable with you. And the answer is: not with the current state of things. why would my ex be calling me everyday? - Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Honestly they probably wont work out because you are still in the picture (which doesnt do great things for a new relationship), but let them work that out themselves. Do I think he cheated yeah I do hence why I am sleeping with him now because I am not loosing anything that I have not already lost so to me I am just getting own back on her. Are you okay having someone keeping steady contact with you for no valid reason even though it is inappropriate and disrespectful on a whole set of levels? One of my best friends husbands hit on me when I was visiting them (out of country) and she was out of town for the first two days on unexpected business. This leads me to believe she does not know he has been contacting me. In my experience there are two things your ex might be thinking when they say "let's just be friends.". He wants you to pay attention to him because you havent been giving it to him recently. Tell him to screw off. The first call was a question he knew only I could help him with. i just know personally i couldnt just let the girl glare at me for no reason like, sorry lady, be mad at him. He or she wants to enjoy the new relationship while keeping you around as a friend to speak to and rely on from time to time. being friends with your ex doesn't work, block her and give yourself the chance of healing and finding something better that'll make you happy immensely happy. One drunken night at the office party he made a move on me and I let him kiss me for far, far too long a time. Eventually I got her back from Cali and she started it again..same thing you mentioned. All contact info. Do Depressed Partners Come Back? In that case, you should be more firm and say that you dont have anything against him but that he needs to respect your needs and focus on his new relationship. It is not up to you to make his life flow smoothly, and it is not up to him to dictate how the two of you interact. But do your best to act in your own best interest. Stop thinking about HIS motives for a bit and ask yourself about yours instead: Do you care that he calls? Is there any part of you that hopes for a reconciliation? June 28, 2022 by Zan Is your ex with someone else but still contacts you? Is there a part of you and Im assuming there must be that is finding it difficult to leave the past in the past with such constant reminders from such an immediate and significant person from it? To avoid this, you should get some space from your ex. My ex girlfriend still calls me everyday even if she already has a new like i said, i wouldnt go out of my way to try to talk to her, but if she sets the record straight with the girlfriend, hopefully she will turn her focus from the LW being an issue to the guy being the issue, which is what is going on. Let new girlfriend figure out the rest herself. Or do you want room to heal and move on? I would never even reach out to him. He keeps calling because you keep answering. I couldnt take any more and told her. We where together 7 years. I know I do. I imagine in his mind he is still trying to rectify not being with you and the comfort associated with long term monogamous relationships. March 14, 2019 Lauren Naefe/Stocksy After a breakup, it can be hard to fully disconnect from an ex. Most of them are people Id chat with briefly if I ran into them. The fact that you put a crazy label on it, makes me think you may be the one that likes to stir the muck. PS: he also contacted me first after 2 months of going no contact, wishing me a merry christmaas. He is your ex boyfriend and some other girls new boyfriend. What is behind this phone call and do you dare answer the phone? Quora - A place to share knowledge and better understand the world The only time its okay for him to reach out to you is when: Your ex needs to understand that exes arent friends. Normally it would be no big deal but because he acted the ass my first night there it was the worst two days ever. She doesnt necessarily have to say, Hey, so your boyfriend has been saying _____ to me and hes the one calling, and he told me you were okay with this, just Hey, Im so sorry that went badly, I was under the impression you were okay with our being friends, but I just realized Im not okay with our being friends either, so its not an issue anymore.. Also, if you are willing to call someone crazy, wouldnt that mean you could be kinda crazy as well? If you can think back to your relationship from beginning to end and if all you can remember are good times, then there's a good chance your ex will soon realize the . I told him hell no! The second call was just to catch up. Something like children, divorce, finances, etc. i am so happy. 20 Common Reasons Why Your Ex Is Contacting And Texting You - Yangki How would I know? So that's the first reason I think most exes will respond to your texts immediately. Xper 5 Age: 37. My ex girlfriend and I were together for almost 4 years and we always see each other at least everyday. He just like the nice ego boost he gets.

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